Geeks, lovers, and ... GEEKS!!!!

Fiona posted this on her blog yesterday. It was only because she had free time. Hrmpf!!
Anyways here it is.

One of the Universal Truths that lies just beyond the fabric of modern society is the axiom that geeks, along with nerds and other peoples of high intelligence and low social skills, make the best lovers. Once people realize this, the sexual revolution that will sweep through western culture will make the seventies look like the fifties, and not because there are more colors. The reasons why geeks are unparalleled as lovers are simple and many:

Geeks don't sleep around. Geeks, through their higher IQ and therefore greater understanding of the tragedy of human condition, know that the grass only seems greener on the other side of the fence. Hence, they instinctively stay loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair, and frankly, geeks generally aren't quite sure how they ended up with the lover they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know the geek will be yours until you are done.

Geeks are good at the things they try. When's the last time you met a geek who didn't have some secret skill just simmering below the surface of their lives, honed in the wee hours of the night? It could be hacking, playing video games, or the ability to insert and remove those stupid computer power plug things from drives without cursing or breaking a finger. Let sex become their new favorite late-night hobby, and you know that a geek won't quit until he or she has learned how to hack into your brainstem through specific genitalia interfacing in parallel with general dermal and oral bonding.

Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to a geek. This means that a geek is more interested in their or your happiness than looking good to others, which is an important trait in a relationship.

Geeks haven't formed bad habits. After years of dating other women, many socially successful guys have become too confident to be intimate, think of women only for sex, and don't have any intention of letting what in their minds is "just another girlfriend" enjoy the last spring roll. Let us not even pry into the diabolical, dark, twisted, and depraved mind of the girl who has dated many men. None of this is true of the geek, however. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of the neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence; however, once coaxed from their emotional holes like tame bunnies, they are eager to please and enjoy their newfound relationship.

Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with the intensity of a hunting cheetah. Granted, the task they are focusing on may have more to do with hunting orcs with 12-sided dice rather than hunting gazelles with claws, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task and given Mountain Dew, becomes a tireless slave to their goal. Put a six-pack of Dew on the bedside table and a geek between the sheets, and you have found yourself one relentless lover.

Geeks have excellent finger dexterity. Geeks roll dice. Geeks play video games. Geeks flip pages in books. Geeks type a lot, and use characters like ~ and ^ and | that no one else has any use for. Geeks use calculators and personal digital assistants. The sum total of this is that a geek knows how to use his or her fingers to greatest possible effect. Whether you have a button that needs pushing or a joystick that needs joy, a geek is the person for the job.

Geeks have imagination. Once you have found your amazing lover, you wouldn't want things to become boring. That is where geeks prove their worth. Replayability is important to the value-conscious video-game playing geek, and this translates to relationships as well. Wouldn't you want to date someone who has created a Quake 3 mod? Wouldn't you want to date someone who has written steamy Everquest fan fiction involving elven incest? Wouldn't you want to date someone who wished they were Morpheus rather than someone who wished they were Barry Bonds?

There are plenty of other reasons why geeks are the best lovers around, but don't just take my word for it. Find the nearest sexy geek and coax that person into asking you out, even if you have to do so using instant messanger. Remember: the only non-sexy geek is a single geek.

Still need convincing? Then just take a look at Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...

Now that we have defined that geeks are sexy... Now lets define what makes a geek.

Steps:
1. Update your computer software and hardware regularly to keep your system state-of-the-art.

2. Purchase and install several superfluous peripherals for your computer, such as a video camera and a CD burner.

3. Establish a separate phone line for Internet use or sign up for a direct connection. This will allow you to be online without interruption around the clock.

4. Attain mastery of a variety of mainstream programming languages, such as C and C++. (Web scripting languages, such as JavaScript, don't count.)

5. Refuse to use "wimpy" graphical operating systems, such as Windows and the Mac OS: Instead, prefer Unix variants, preferably the free and popular Linux.

6. Add so many hacks and patches to your system that others are clueless in its wake.

7. Contribute to GNU or other open-source projects.

8. Establish a minimum of three separate e-mail addresses.

9. Build your own Web page using advanced programming techniques.

10. Subscribe to a variety of computer and computer-related magazines, serials and periodicals to keep up with the latest trends and developments in the computer world.

11. Get involved in other hobbies that tend to be associated with computer geekdom, such as network gaming, trading card games, and anime (Japanese animation).

12. Establish a network of fellow computer geeks with whom you can have long conversations about computers and online adventures that non-computer geeks cannot hope to understand.

Tips:
Many computer geeks build their computers out of separate components rather than buying a preassembled package.

If you're serious about computer geekdom, consider earning a degree in computer science from a major college, university or technical school.

Learn what you can in a variety of practical areas, like applications, programming, hardware and networking, and don't let anyone tell you that being a geek means being a clown. Being a geek means being practical in arcane things.

Well while not all of them are true in my case (ex. numbers 4, 5, 7, 9, 11) I can argue saying that 'I just don't have the time!!'

Or as I just read somewhere...

(Quoted from an anonymous online source:)
I am normal.
Mostly I meet weird people.
But once in a while I meet other people that are normal like me.
I wish there were more of them.

*snicker

This is getting long, and I need to work. If any of you are interested you have my Instant Mesenger IDs... Or if not my emails. (Yes I do have more than 5 :P)